I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
