My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
