I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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