We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
