I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I sprained my soul last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
