Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You were trust falling into bushes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
