so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
