i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
