I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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