shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
