it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
