You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
