Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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