Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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