everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
