I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
