So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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