Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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