My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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