Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
honey bunches of taint.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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