he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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