11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
