do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
