once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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