i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
