You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I believe in your delicious
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
