Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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