By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
