She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
