Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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