we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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