Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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