I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
