Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
