could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
