I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
