maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
