hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
