I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
