I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
