To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
