Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
