what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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