I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
