Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
