We won't sleep together?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Less talking, more tequila
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
