guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
