omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
