I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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