You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
