why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
